Tag Archives: vacation

A Free Sociology Lesson On Sheplers Ferry

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Sheplers Children Ride Free Labour Day Weekend is a nightmare. Kids love Sheplers (and wear the stickers like Purple Hearts) without riding for free but this weekend it was even worse. Not only were the kids kicking back rent free pondering all the shit they are going to beg and cry for in the coming hours, the parents were unusually happy because they didn’t have to pay. Lovers kissed, wives who forgot which husband they brought were blowing kisses to every second male, mistresses were admiring the boats, boyfriends were posing for selfies with their girlfriend. What this means for me – travelling solo back and forth 6 times in 3 days – is that I’m unusually educated about things I normally don’t care for. I am not sure if what I learnt from the advice-wheeling grandfathers was true and I question how grandfathers know something about everything but now I have a PhD in quantum physics and bridge architecture for the price of a Sheplers return.

Sitting on the top deck of Sheplers approaching the bridge you can see on every male face the same look and you can tell they are thinking 1 of 2 things – If I built that, I would have done this and this, trimmed that, spun that around, shortened that.

 No you wouldn’t have, sit back and relax.

The other guy is just thinking nice job. And while the Frank Llyod Wright wanna be wants to impart his knowledge on everyone around him, his wife (unfortunately) tuned him out years ago and the kids he is with just want the fudge he is saving for the ride home. The second guy is sitting there hoping for some peace and then his kids sense it, and start asking a tonne of questions– which is when I sit back and watch the show.

 Kid: Dad, why is the bridge so long?

Dad: Because that’s how long they wanted it son

Kid: But it looks kinda bent. It’s not straight. Why is the freaking bridge not straight?

Dad: It’s straight. (Faces wife) Honey, we need to get Jack’s eyes tested

Sheplers Captain on speaker: …the bridge bends naturally and was designed this way…

Dad: (Embarrassed and pretends not to hear)

Kid: See, my eyes are fine, the driver just said it’s bent. Maybe we need to check your hearing

Dad: Did the Sheplers Captain build the bridge? He is like 25, how does he know it bends?

Kid: History books

Dad: Here, have some fudge

Wife: (Peers over her iPhone without making eye contact) We were saving that

Dad: (Leans over and whispers) Honey, shut the hell up. We will talk about this when we get home

Kid: If we make it home, maybe the roads are bent out here too

Dad: (Rolls eyes) They aren’t

Kid: How do you know, you thought the bridge was straight. I’m asking the Captain

Dad: (Pissed off) So every question you have in life you’re going to call a Sheplers Captain?

Kid: Maybe, you don’t seem to know the answers

I was afraid at this point some domestic violence was going to take place. That, I didn’t pay for. As I got off the ferry on the Island side, there are three types of people. The ones who work here and want everyone to part like the Red Sea out of their way, the people asking everyone else how they get to the Grand who themselves are looking at maps, and then those who walk out and say, “Holy shit, this place stinks.” As I walk across the road, I can smell it, I can see it, I can hear people complaining about it and then a little potty mouth runs after me…”Ma’am, watch out for the shit. It’s everywhere!” If only he knew.

Did you ride Sheplers this Labor Day Weekend? What did you overhear?

Choking on a Cheesesteak and Other Things to do in Philly.

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Sitting in Campos Deli in Old Town, eating a traditional Philly cheese steak, is a hard task for an ex vegan. Though the curdled milk and dead cow goodness was yummy, I positively nearly choked as Color Me Badd’s ‘I Wanna Sex You Up‘ blared over the radio. This is why I love Philly – it has a way of making me like things I should hate through sentimental and ironic moments. A cute Pennsylvanian sat down next to me – I didn’t have to ask where he was from – he was wearing the “I’m a jock but I pretend I don’t care” rural PA uniform of white polyester basketball shorts, a slightly off beat or ironic shirt, sneakers and a college hat with some type of initial. In fact, he is covered in initials to the point it would be easy to teach an infant the alphabet based solely on his outfit. (From what I gather in America, there are 3 types of jocks – the dick, the douche, and the panty pleasing “good guy” jock who eventually falls into the first two categories depending on which girl he pissed off.)

Bad early 90′s music and cute jocks aside, I was off to tour Philly once more. It was my last day before I leave for my next stop – Pittsburgh, on a mini vacation to rediscover the state that will be my home next year as I study at a University on a scholarship. I wandered the secret back alleys of old town, read a book in a park behind an old church, saw the iconic Liberty Bell, sat in the pews once used by George Washington at Christ Church, threw a penny on Ben Franklin’s grave, hang out on South Street and tried to mesh with the hipsters, visited the Bruce Springsteen exhibit (again), the Eastern State Penitentiary, fell in love with Love Park, wondered through China Town, discovered Banana frozen yogurt with choc chips and coconut, and spent a good hour in the iconic store, The Book Trader. The city is one of the easiest cities to get around in – the Phlash trolley runs every 15 minutes for $2, the buses are $2, the train is $2 and they all run frequently. It’s not even necessary to do a ‘hop on hop tour’ in this city – the transport system is good enough it makes them and the $30 price tag useless.

Philadelphia is one of those cities many people can’t quite decide if they hate or love. A common complaint I hear around Philadelphia as I casually eavesdrop around town is that “theres a lot of stuff here to do but it would be good if someone could explain it.” and “I hate just standing there looking at bell and reading a plaque.” Philadelphia is not really set up for independent budget travellers and yet the city offers independent sites that, more often than not, lack a good tour to explain the historical significance. There is only one hostel downtown and all other hotels run for almost $170-ish a night. And although Philly is built on history and was once the capital of the USA, it seems to be largely forgotten on must see destination lists. It is an essential stopping point for lovers of history, the geeks who love a great book, food and museum and the intellectual hipster. Then again, category two and three are essentially the same, except geeks don’t try hard like hipsters. If you don’t fall into those three categories, maybe that explains why you don’t like Philly. But seriously, who doesn’t like history?

Do you love Philly, like me? 

Bodies: The Exhibition at the Luxor, Las Vegas.

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Recently I was given a $5000 scholarship for 5 months to study a programme of anatomy in the US, so in preparation, I dragged myself out of a Jo Malone Rose Oil infused bath and headed to the Luxor to see Bodies: The Exhibition. The exhibition consists of real human bodies and organs – the human specimens are prepared using a corrosion casting method and blood vessels are injected with (sometimes coloured) polymer than hardened.

Walking through the sections from the Respiratory System through to Reproduction, randomly people asked me anatomical questions. ( I wear black Prada glasses and look like an anatomy geek. Apparently)  – “Ma’am, the spine looks fibrous and flexible. Is it possible to snap the spine or do you snap the outer spine?” “If a person has hepatitis or HIV are there consequences for a foetus if they fall pregnant?” This is America, bitches. Litigation. Look it up yourself.

 There were preserved hearts who made people squeal like Justin Bieber had just walked in, “OMG this is my favourite section!” I, however, am all about the brain. A particular specimen showed a healthy brain and another a brain that had been affected by a stroke (causing restricted or no blood flow to the brain). The area with no blood flow was black – dead, and looked much like the area of the lungs that blackened from tar in a smokers body.

 Speaking of which, I don’t date smokers. I never have and never will and this exhibition confirmed it. There was a preserved lung of a healthy person by one of a smoker. The smoker’s lung was black, dead, infected, killed. I wonder, like other self-inflicted diseases such as Type 2 Diabetes , is it worth it? When you smoke a cigarette you are inhaling tar directly into your lungs. Breathing over time becomes harder, cigarettes stain your nails and your teeth, you stink like a charred body, your breath stinks, you are helping your body create a cancer within itself and on top of this, an average pack of smokes takes 3 hours and  40 minutes off your life. They are also a phenomenally expensive habit – you are paying through the nose to slowly kill yourself. Just buy a noose. It’s quicker and much cheaper.

 There is a section of displayed arteries that were Andy Warhol-esque, having been injected with coloured polymer in corals, reds, whites and greens. Other coloured sections such as the pulmonary veins and bronchi looked like coral from the barrier reef and could easily pass as art in a boutique gallery in NYC.

There is a section on babies – a conjoined twin, foetus at different rates of development, a baby’s skull, heart and lungs paired next to adult developed ones. Besides the amazing specimens and whole preserved bodies you learn a lot about Anatomy 101 – such as the fact no cell in the body lies more than a few micrometres from a blood vessel or that the pulse is an artery wall stretching w every heart beat, and human skin is the heaviest of all organs at almost 4kg.

The exhibition is $35 dollars but most Vegas magazines and books will have a $5 off coupon. If you do the survey at the end of the exhibition you will be given a code enabling you to receive 10% off at the gift shop.

Have you been to the exhibition or are you planning to? What do you do in Vegas? (The first two photos are from http://www.luxor.com as photographs are prohibited in the exhibition)

A Weekend in Waikiki – Jimmy Buffett, Ala Moana and the North Shore.

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It takes about 13 hours to fly direct from Sydney to LA so a stop over in Hawaii is, for me at least, essential. Having spent over half a year living in Oahu over the years, I am pretty familiar with what to do. On a 2 day layover, it was all about relaxing

The humid and tropical weather Waikiki is known for was on full display and after a leisurely stroll along Waikiki Beach and a dip in the ocean with the throngs of other tourists with dubious hygiene regimes, I headed for the cool deck of Jimmy Buffett’s at the Beachcomber and had three too many chilled cocktails and the Spinach and Artichoke dip. Cooled down, drunk and bloated,  I crossed the road to catch the pink flagged trolley to the Ala Moana shopping mall where it’s easy to spend a whole day drinking honey melon bubble tea and spending your life savings at Miu Miu or Chanel. The mall has over 290 stores and is the world’s largest open air mall. On the way home, I strolled along Waikiki Beach at sunset to my hotel with a Guava, Paw Paw and Mango Shaved Ice. Bliss.

 The next day, I ate at Eggs’n'Things , a bustling diner that specialises in breakfast and was voted best pancakes in Honolulu, chowing down on the thick pancakes with strawberries, whipped cream and nuts ($11.95) I headed back to Ala Moana and caught the 55 bus, which for $2.50 drives you, with the locals, to the North Shore. The bus takes its sweet ass time but if you want to check out Oahu like a local, and have some spare time, it’s cheap and pretty reliable.

 I then stopped at Teds Bakery which opened in 1906 on Sunset Beach. It’s famous for the Chocolate Haupia Cream Pie which is a delicious rich layer of smooth dark chocolate custard cream, filled with another layer of Haupia (creamy coconut pudding) with whipped topping. This is my favourite but also try the Pineapple Macadamia Nut Cheesecake. Now full, bloated and hot again, I caught the 55 bus down to Waimea Bay for a quick dip and sun tan. Out of all North Shore beaches, this is still my favourite. The last stop was in Haleiwa for a stroll around my old haunts before heading back into Waikiki to pack for Los Angeles.

I have loved Hawaii since the first time I visited in 2005 and it hasn’t disappointed me yet. I usually go in November through January when the surf tournaments are on – Pipeline Masters or Eddie Aikau Big Wave Comp – so this was the first time I was able to relax. Each place I visit manages to create its own playlist on my iPod – Oahu is Brushfire Fairytales by Jack Johnson (I bought the album running in to him at Pipe and his cute son Moe), and Jeff Buckley’s album Grace which I listened to on the plane to my neighbours annoyances on repeat. Seriously. Hipsters be damned.

Hawaii Tips:

Try to get on the destination time as early as possible. From Australia, it’s generally an 8-ish hour overnight flight with a 7-9am arrival. If this is the case, try to sleep on the plane. Even I have trouble doing this, but after a Valium and an Old Fashioned, nothing is impossible. (Even refraining from knocking out the screaming kid who is kicking your chair)

On the plane keep a pen, your passport and your ticket in a small wallet/folder in front of you for customs forms etc and quick accessibility when leaving the plane.

Remember you are crossing an international date line – I departed 29 July at 8pm and arrived 29 July at 7am from Australia.

Always have some water handy to stay hydrated and a lotion/spray to rehydration for your face. (I use Aesop Ginger In Flight Therapy or Jurlique Rose Water Balancing Mist)

The cheapest airport shuttle I have found is Shuttle Waikiki at $10 each way or $17 return. Most others will charge $14-$17 one way or $27/$30 return. A taxi will cost about $30 one way and they will harass you in a nice Hawaiian way on your way out of the airport.

If you are looking for a Youth Hostel and don’t want to pay over $30 a night ask for Lemon Road, there is at least 3 or 4 on that road.

If you want something on the beach but not 4 or 5 star, try Aston Waikiki Beach Hotel, Waikiki Circle Hotel (great location with Eggs n things under it but its 3 stars) Holiday Inn Beachcomber, Princess Kaiulani Hotel. Getting more expensive but in the same area; Outrigger Waikiki, Marriott, The Hyatt Regency, and the two crème de la crème – The Royal Hawaiian and the Moana Surfrider for location and price.

When you go to Waikiki what do you like to do? What would you have done in 2 days?

Newcastle, Australia: A Beautiful Place to be Murdered.

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The city I grew up in is apparently Australia’s most underrated city and one of the top ten cities to visit in 2011 according to Lonely Planet. (So now it’s 2012, don’t bother?) I find it humorous Newcastle made the cut, even more-so it’s sandwiched between Delhi and Chiang Mi.

Lonely Planet may believe the city is underrated because it sits in the shadow of its flamboyant and attention seeking neighbour, Sydney, (150km south). The reason for me, is that I found it to be much like a forty-year old – from the right angle it can look good, but in general its rough, under appreciated and has a face so over worked it looks like it stepped out of The Real Housewives. But I am wiser now and on my return I realised this – Newcastle isn’t that bad.

It’s not the miles of beaches, cafes, previous visits by the Queen, the short drive to the Hunter Valley wineries or quick access to Sydney I am interested in, but rather this disturbing fact – Newcastle has a seedy murderous underbelly that has gone relatively unnoticed. The many beautiful cliffs overlooking downtown beaches are graveyards to suicide jumpers, an unassuming Dr’s office was the scene of the “staking” of a woman – between the legs and through the head; the famous murder of Leigh Leigh, whose body was found in sand dunes at Stockton Beach following a birthday party where she was raped and had her skull crushed. And this appears to be just the beginning:

A 7-year-old girl starved to death at the hands of her 49-year-old father. She was 9kg (19lbs) at death. Her father lost his appeal against his so-called “severe” 16 year gaol sentence.

A 31-year-old was charged after stuffing a murdered woman in the trunk of a car. The car wasn’t found for 2 weeks.

The Newcastle Earthquake – the first recorded earthquake in Australian history on 28 December 1989, killed 13 people and injured 162.

The case of Cheryl Anne Burchell who was murdered on the banks of Throsby Creek at Carrington 24 years ago in 1987 which remains unsolved, was recently reopened.

Timothy Daly, 26, was shot dead on 16 July, 1911 and was found in a pool of blood next to a revolver, a witness came forward alleging it was two men who shot him and one panicked – leaving the revolver at the scene.

A husband confessed at Newcastle Police Station, to the beating of his 43 year old wife and mother of 4 with a tomahawk and then slitting her throat ear to ear with a razor blade in 1927.

A son was found mentally unstable and not guilty of murdering his 52-year-old father. He was stabbed 20 times in the head, back, chest and torso with a 15cm long carving knife.

A 29-year-old teacher and his 22-year-old brother were shot dead by their 53-year-old neighbour who was still reeling over loud music being played at a party.

A man called the police saying he was going to harm his family. By the time police got there, the man, 39, and his estranged wife, 42, were dead and their two daughters (not home) were left orphaned.

The Maitland Gaol has housed some of Australia’s worst criminals and serial killers including Ivan Milat – The Backpacker Killer

And the list continues. Newcastle does have things to offer which I am sure I will eventually explore, but I always find the darker side far more interesting.  Have you been to Newcastle? What did you think?

The Bucket List: Packing my bags to travel around the world. Again.

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It’s probably not a shock that I am preparing to travel around the world again. What’s even less of a shock is I have no idea what to pack to visit the US, UK, Europe and Africa in one suitcase for three seasons.

In the US; Los Angeles, San Francisco, Las Vegas, New Orléans, New York, and Chicago are booked. I’ve been to all of them before but there is always something I never got to see or do. (Such as Alcatraz)

After touring  the US, I am travelling to Europe again. London is the first stop, one of my favourite cities. From this prime location, I will be flying all over Europe trying to avoid places I have already been and the phone calls from my Russian friends trying to drag me back to Moscow.

After a couple of months and a possible trip back to Australia on one of the longest commercial flights in the world, it’s back to the USA. I was offered a scholarship to study on the East Coast a few miles away from some great medical centres and intern/fellowship opportunities. I’m under the impression the nucleus of the world is somewhere between Harrisburg and Philadelphia as I always end up there.

I am really the last person who needs one but I have started a bucket list. My top 5 cities to try my hardest to get to visit/revisit are;

  1. Morocco
  2. Cairo
  3. Delhi
  4. Cape Town
  5. Pompeii

Maybe it’s time I signed up for a frequent flyer scheme.

What top 5 places/things to do are on your bucket list?