It is so my luck that I find a peaceful place lakeside to sit and think about life’s heaviest issues – love, moving on, marriage – only to realise I am sitting next to someone’s shitty knickers. Either some girl decided to pee herself and leave her knickers on the sand or I was sitting where people were shagging at all hours last night. Either way, I realised I was sitting on someone’s bodily fluids and minding their shitty knickers as I pondered the rest of my life. How ironic. Much like the time I bought a good luck doll that was decapitated within minutes by someones super sized ass.
I decided to avoid the Labor Day Weekend crowds hustling like gangsters to buy copious amounts of fudge and shirts that read things like: My Anger Management Therapist Pisses Me Off. There is no better place to contemplate life than with the fresh crisp cool breeze touching your face, the sound of seagulls, the feel of sand between your toes, the warm sun on your skin and the smell of caramel popcorn shifting through the air. I sat thinking that maybe it’s time for me to hang up these travelling boots, maybe to set down roots somewhere but I have always been a huge believer in fate. For instance, no matter how hard I try to avoid PA I end up there. Knowing my luck, if I was flying to Vietnam from Moscow the pilot would make an emergency detour to Lake Erie just to piss me off. I explain my life story to people and their reaction is always the same – to laugh and put it down to fate. Even people who don’t believe in fate, believe in fate when they talk to me. But lately I have questioned it and most things I believed in.
Under the Mackinaw Bridge, my feet buried in the sand and smelling of sunscreen; I asked myself some questions I guess we all have to ask at some point that decides a significant proportion of the rest of our life. Where do I want to end up? What do I want to do? When do you know it’s time to walk away – from a person, from a life on the road? How do you know where to settle down – is it where the universe keeps leading you, or just somewhere you randomly pick? This Labor Day weekend, I am not working for the first time in years so I am devoting the entire weekend to moving on and figuring out the answers to these questions. How do you do this? According to my friend, “stop using your head and follow your heart.” A hard task when you never stay put long enough to listen to it. But as I sat down in my hotel room, I turned on the TV to have the only episode of The Office play which gets me every time. (Jim telling Pam he loves her but she is marrying someone else) I then walked down the street to buy some ice cream only to have a young man start singing as I approached..”and someday it will lead me back to you.” Seriously. This shit happens to me all the time. Random coincidences aside, its time to make a choice but it would be a lot easier to make if I knew what the other person was thinking.
What have you been worrying about lately?