The Gross Anatomy of Travelling. Pt1.

Shed Your Skin: A person sheds roughly 240,000-250,000 skin cells on an 8 hour flight. What’s even worse; planes aren’t properly cleaned until the end of the day which means you could be sitting in 720,000-730,000 skin cells of strangers. The trays aren’t often wiped, and the pillows and blankets are often recycled. For 8 hours you are sitting in a pool of human filth. Enjoy. On the bright side, while shedding skin at home or in a hotel room, there’s trillion of dust mites that will eat all the dead skin you’re shedding – but you still need to vacuum, you won’t get out of it that easy

One is Not Amused: In the hotel or home, if one farts in the bath tub, the hot tub, spa or swimming pool, small amounts of feces are released. So next time you’re in the hotel spa and your friend lets one rip, it might not be so funny. Or maybe it will.

Clog My Pipe: Water pipes from hotels, hostels and houses are filled with pubic hair. For example, every month Thames Water removes over a tonne of pubic hair from its water treatment plants. It is then taken to a landfill site and buried. I don’t believe you can get off The Tube and visit the site, though I am sure someone is working on it.

You’re Giving Me the Shits: Someone with not much else to do has found that roughly 1 in 5 people pee in the ocean. It’s mother natures way of warming the idiots up who swim on cool days. If travelling to a beach orientated destination such as Fiji, Australia or California bear in mind the organism Cryptosporidium, which causes diarrhea, survives up to 10 days in water. Maybe that explains why you had the shits last time you went swimming?

Kiss This: While snogging someone while sniffly overseas, the nose may drip into the back of the mouth and you may get mucus mixed with saliva when kissing. It’s not the lip balm flavour after all.

Piss Off: While sunbathing in a park in a large city, if you see people walking their dogs, you’re probably lying in dog urine. In London alone, the parks are soaked in almost a million gallons of dogs urine a year.

Hanging By a Thread: Suicide by Americans abroad accounts for the fourth leading cause of death according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The highest suicide rate is those 75 years and older. A suicide abroad is reported on average every 21 to 23 days. From October 2002 through December 2011, 967 American suicides abroad were reported to the State Department. Mexico is the country where more Americans commit suicide followed by South Korea. Perhaps suicide by Americans is so great due to their holiday destination choice – go to Maui. No one commits suicide in Maui.

A Screw Loose: According to Caroline Egan’s 2009 thesis on the sexual activities of backpackers, backpackers on average admit to 2-10 sex partners in their lifetime and men are twice as likely to have had more than 20 sex partners in their lifetime. 61% of backpackers go on holiday with the expectation of sex with someone new. Wonder if the expectation of having to sleep on those dirty sheets for 3 days in a hostel and an STI are just as high? 


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